I’m…

…in California and it’s sort of rainy and cold, which means, well basically, I came 8000kms just to see people that I like… hmmm …lol .. Surprisingly, this trip, unlike countless others, before which all my, lying bastard, Californian friends told me it was always warm and sunny, I packed a coat and was pleased to see my friend from Seattle, Ted Grudowski, shaking with cold and looking forward to returning to the relatively sub tropical Pacific Northwest. Now, it has to be said that, well broadly speaking, and from an ecological standpoint, the depletion of the ozone layer seems like a bad thing…. but, you know what?… Well that sort of a sentiment usually comes from the early phase skin cancer class, the southlands seem to produce and it may seem a little selfish of me to say so, it only seems fair that if all the folks with money are going to hog all the sun, while trying to block it out with their darkened car windshields, then they shouldn’t bitch about a slightly debilitating skin complaint that has essentially been brought on by their own fucking lack of respect for the rest of us who have to freeze our tits off in the winter. Now before I sound like some whiney fucking moby type liberal little bitch, hear me out. Please. I’m for sharing the hole in the ozone layer so that we can all get warm in the winter, so that the poor Pacific North Westerns, like Ted, don’t have to suffer the indignity of feeling ‘slightly chilly’ when they visit the city of angels and that I, for one, don’t have to spend three thousand euros every winter to warm my home, with no chance whatsoever of getting a tan while doing so.
So naturally I was delighted to meet someone in a Denny’s restroom (that does sound wrong but you know what I mean) somewhere on the 101 who indignantly informed me that this year ‘he had a pipe burst’ and his wife had to ‘wear gloves’….He was sweet, he’ll die soon, but the point that I felt rather uncomfortable as an ‘alien’ to have to point out to him that people in Chicago or Minneapolis may have feelings..er.. slightly incongruent to his own. He was genuinely appalled at my lack of respect and bitched me out for being, er, unAmerican…..
A few of you that know me and may read this will, of course, see the irony of this statement.
But in a way, he’s right… I mean, come on, it is rather chilly, it’s just not right…..

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